Drumroll, please…………

……………..and it’s done!  Okay, not really totally done – it’s still a first draft.  But, it’s a completed first draft.  Finally!  What am I talking about?

While I’ve been ignoring this blog lately, I’ve managed to finish the first draft of the Nano novel I started for NaNoWriMo 2009!  While I was procrastinating on editing my 2010 Nano (currently on the 3rd draft of that one), I managed to pump out the last few chapters of my 2009 Nano that I had been putting off for no reason other than I’m a procrastinator. I knew I would get some writing done this semester!   Hmmm….now that I have two novels to procrastinate editing, I may even get some writing done on the book I started for Nano 2011….

The most fun you can have in a van…..

Friday morning, I embarked on an adventure like no other – the Ragnar Relay Del Sol 2012.  An overnight running relay race with 200.5 miles, 12 runners, 2 vans, 1 hot, blazing sun,1 cold, dark night and of course, tons of fun and shenanigans!  There are six runners in each van.  Each runner has three legs to run, of varying distance and difficulty.  Our first runner left the start line at 9am on Friday morning and the journey began.

I covered a total of 17 miles.  I ran some of my fastest times ever.  And some of my slowest.  My 1st leg was Friday around noon.  I hauled ass – averaging 8:12 min/mile.  Awesome!  My 2nd leg started at 11pm Friday night.  6 miles, all uphill.  That kicked my ass – I averaged 9:34 min/mile on that one.  My 3rd leg was my best time.  I have no idea how.  I started it around 9am Saturday morning (24 hours after we started).  We had been in a van for 24 hours, running off and on, and slept around 2 hours (from 3:30 am to 5:30 am).  But, I averaged 8:05 min/mile!  Extra awesome!

All teams count their “kills” (i.e. the number of other runners that they pass).  My van (Van 1) had a total of 78 kills.  I’m not sure how many Van 2 ended up with.  They stopped counting after 50.  Let me tell you, the tick marks getting added up on the windows of the van (window chalk – which we also used to decorate our vans) is definitely motivating.  On some of those legs, that’s what pushed me.  That next runner up ahead that I was trying to catch.

Approximately 31.5 hours later, our team crossed the finish line together.  We were not the fastest team.  And not the slowest.  Running the race was exhausting, painful, draining, and the absolute most fun I’ve ever had running.  Can’t wait to do it again!  You know, after I can move around without pain again.

Love is in the air….

Okay, probably not love.  But there is some serious like going on here.  I am smitten.  haha – I totally just said smitten – do people even say that?  Clearly, my ability to think has been affected.  Certainly, my sleeping has gotten a lot worse.  I already have a hard enough time sleeping and now he keeps infiltrating my thoughts.  At any rate, there it is.  But it’s complicated.  And sort of a secret, but not really.  Which is also complicated.  But since I’m hiding behind the relative anonymity of my computer screen, I’ll elaborate.    (p.s. for the record, I realize that the anonymity of the internet really only gives me a false sense of security and anyone who really wanted to could find out whatever they want, but my “secrets” aren’t really that good or that big of deal. lol)

I may or may not have mentioned before (although I’m pretty sure I have) that I’m a single parent.  Not just a single parent, though - a widow who is still very close to my husband’s family.  It has been a little over 8 1/2 years, so this is not a recent occurence, but I have only had one relationship since he passed away and it was a while ago.  My kids were not even aware of it….they were too young and it was someone that I was already friends with so they knew him and were used to him being around sometimes.  From their point of view, nothing had changed in that aspect.  That being said, my kids and I are now very used to it being “just us” and now there is this strange new possibility of someone else in my life.  Kid2, in fact, knows of no other way to be other than with “just us” because she was just over a year old when her dad died and she has no recollection of him at all, other than through pictures and stories she’s heard from us.

Hence, the “secret.”  I’m not quite sure how to approach this with them, yet.  They haven’t met him and don’t know about him – it’s way too soon for that.  My in-laws also don’t know about him, yet.  I’m actually fine with the in-laws knowing about him, although last time, my sis-in-law was a little uncomfortable with the idea of me being with someone else besides her brother, but she wants me to be happy, so she dealt with it.  I guess I kind of want to see where this might go before I introduce him to anyone, though.  Especially the kids.  I don’t want them to get too attached to someone in case it doesn’t work out.  I figure with everything else, they don’t need to deal with that, too.

So, they don’t get to meet him, yet, but should they even know about him?  Know that he exists?  That I’m going to go on a date with him this very Saturday?  They know they are going to my sister’s house Saturday night.  They asked where I’m going.  I said I don’t know, yet.  Which, at the time, was entirely true.  I’ve since decided where we are going, but now they are in bed and not asking questions.

Hmmm…it may also be important to note that Kid1 has recently decided that I’m allowed to date, but not get married because she doesn’t want a stepdad.  This was a random observation and not due to me mentioning a date or even a guy.  In fact, at the time, I had not even met this new guy, yet and not even thinking that a date was anywhere in my near future.  I was cooking dinner at the time.  Before that, she said I can’t date because I’m her mom and I’m still married.  After explaining that I wasn’t going on a date, but simply cooking spaghetti and also that, no, I’m not technically married, she changed her mind and said that I can date.  lol

Now, that I’ve rambled on and on and likely made little sense, I guess I’ll publish it.  And yeah, this post has nothing at all to do with writing other than the fact that it just got me to write a little over 700 words.  But it’s my blog and I’ll vent if I want to. 

Yeah, I wrote a new blog post…..what’s up with that?

So, it’s been a while since I’ve been over here to the land of blogging.  Since the end of Nano, which nearly coincided with the end of last semester.  I haven’t written a single thing since and I think I’ve figured out my problem.  Well, there are two really.

First, I need my deadlines.  Okay, I’ve always known that I perform better with a deadline, but I need a deadline like a junkie needs a fix.  It appears to be this way no matter what kind of writing I’m doing – blogging, school stuff, writing a novel, whatever.   Take Nanowrimo for example.  Not last year because I didn’t even give it a valiant effort.  But in 2010, I blazed through and got to 50K early.  It then took me months to write the next 17K or so words to finish the story.  WTF?  My deadline was gone.  Incidently, self-imposed deadlines don’t work for me.  I need a real deadline.  I need to be held accountable for my writing in some way.  The only problem is I need to figure out how.

Secondly, I’m a procrastinator.  I think I’ve established that before.  An active procrastinator to be precise.  For example, right now I should be working on a paper for school.  But instead, I’m finally writing a new blog post.  Clearly it must be a new semester if I’m blogging again.   In fact, I’ve gotten an amazing amount of things done in the last week or so that I’ve been putting off.  Blogging, cleaning, organizing the junk drawer in my kitchen.  I redecorated my bathroom and bought some paint for my hallway.  I pulled all the weeds in my front yard.  My house is surely going to look amazing before this semester is over.

Okay, well, I haven’t really figured out anything.  I haven’t established anything that I haven’t discussed before.  I already knew that I need deadlines and that I’m a procrastinator.  But, hey, I got a new blog post written and that’s way better than some boring paper on public agency policy making.   This is my last semester for Bachelor’s degree.  Yay!  But, man, have I got senioritis?!  And bad!  Expect many new blog posts from me in the next three months…

Failure? Nah, screw that. I still rock.

So, here we are.  November 30th.  The end of NaNoWriMo.  I would love to be able to say that I’m “winner” again this year, but frankly, it just didn’t happen this time around.  Does that mean I lost?  That I failed?  Well, technically speaking, the answer is yes.  I did “lose” Nanowrimo because I “failed” to write my 50,000 words in the last 30 days.  School, work, kids, life just sort of monopolized my time this month and I didn’t have the time to dedicate to writing that I wanted to. 

However, I don’t feel like a loser at all.  Not even close.  I wrote over 37,000 words that would not have been written had I not at least tried.  I struggled with writing some things that were very personal and I survived.  Relatively unscathed, even.  I did briefly work on an old Nano for a little while and it flowed much better – I think because I wasn’t part of that story.  I know, I know.  That’s “cheating.”  Or is it?  They were all brand new words written by yours truly….just on a different story.  Either way, I mangaged to get 37,000 words down on paper (or on my computer screen anyway).  But best of all, I’m not giving up on my story.  Not by any means.  No, I have only just begun this one.   Or two.  Yes, both of them will eventually be finished.  So, failure?  No way.  Just slower than the “winners.”

I need a wife…

Yeah, I’ve been slacking on here again.  Not on purpose.  This month has been flying by and I could really use a few extra hours every day to get more things done.  Better yet, what I’ve learned during the craziness of the last few weeks is that I need a wife.  Yeah, I’m a chick.  And no, I’m not gay.  But, man, a wife sure would’ve come in handy this month.  

First there’s the absolute craziness of trying to squeeze in enough writing time for my Nano and keeping up with an ever-increasing workload at the office.  Combine that with being a single parent and a college student and chaos ensues.  The last week has been the busiest, I think.  Winding down the semester = tons of stuff due.  I have two papers due Tuesday that I haven’t started, yet.  Hmmm…perhaps I should be doing those instead of writing on here….ha, who am I kidding?  They won’t get done until tomorrow night or possibly even during lunch on Tuesday.  

Add two sick kids to this mix and a short week due to Thanksgiving.  Crap.  This is where a wife would come in handy.  I absolutely cannot take tomorrow off work.  Tuesday, I could swing it, but not tomorrow.  At least not a whole day anyway.  However, Kid1 has had a cough for a week now with no other symptoms and, unrelated (obviously), a sore ankle.  She got hit with a hockey stick in P.E., but it’s not bruised or swollen, so I’m not sure what’s up with it.  She’s been limping.  Gave her advil and an ice pack for the last few days, but I may have to take her to the doc if it doesn’t seem like it’s getting better.  Oddly, her shin also hurts and her thigh, neither of which got hit with a hockey stick.  The problem with this one is that something always hurts.  I swear, that kid has more aches and pains than most old ladies I know.  Come to think of it, she is also concerned about fiber intake and the sugar content of foods.  Clearly, she is a 70 year old woman trapped in a 12 year old body. 

Kid2 woke up with a sore throat Saturday.  It’s pretty swollen and red.  She doesn’t really have a fever – a slightly low grade one (99.7-ish) off and on.  No other symptoms except yesterday she had a headache and a tummyache.  Uh oh.  Those are the tell-tale signs of strep.  Although, usually when she has strep, she has a higher fever.  I’m going to definitely have to make her a doc appointment.  For tomorrow.  You know, that day I can’t take off?  Yeah, that’s the one.  *sigh* 

If I had a wife, then said wife could be taking both kids to the doc, cooking my dinner, and cleaning my house (something that I did today while procrastinating on those previously mentioned papers).  Then, I would not have to get up a half hour early to get dinner started in the crockpot.  And I would have time to knock out the work stuff that HAS to be done without taking the afternoon off, finish my papers, and maybe, just maybe, squeeze in some Nano writing time.  I’m still a little behind on the word count, just under 30K, which puts me just over 3000 words behind where I should be right now.  Not as bad as where I was last week, but not where I wanted to be by now, either. 

Hmmm…now that I’ve blathered on here for a little over 600 words that would’ve likely been better put to use in my Nano or in my one of papers, I should stop procrastinating and get started.  I think I’m in for a long night.  Bring on the coffee!

Chugging along slowly…

*sigh* I had such great plans for Nanowrimo this week.  I was so ready.  I rocked the first day.  Then, the rest of the week happened.  I’m a little behind on my word count.  I’m not even going to put it on here….it’s that bad.  I’m still working on it, slowly chugging along and hoping to use my long weekend next weekend to catch up, but this week did not go well at all!

I could use all of the great excuses (some are even true) – I was extremely busy at work this week and I have a ton of stuff due in school next week that I needed to work on.  I even got three papers written today instead of noveling!  Then, of course, there was kid stuff to take care of.  The list goes on and on.  But the reality is, I’m struggling because I’m finding this particular novel harder to write than I anticipated.  Normally, I have no idea what I’m going to write.  I just sit down and start writing and it flows.  Usually very well.  That’s how I know I chose the right story.  This time, I know the whole story.  It’s my story.  And it’s about something very significant in my life.  And it happens to be a hard topic to write about.  So, I’m having second thoughts about it.  Not really about writing it, in general.  I need to write this story.  I think it will be very good for me.  But writing it for Nano?  That I’m not so sure about.  I find myself jumping around a lot, which is usually fine – I’ve done that before with other novels.  Sometimes I think of something that needs to happen later in a book and I write it before I forget.  But I’m not jumping around here because I may forget.  I made a list of things I needed to remember to put in the novel and I’m jumping from topic to topic, writing a little on each.  Not sure what the deal with this one is.

Six days in and I’m wondering if it’s too late to start something else or if I should use this as an opportunity to force myself to be introspective and write about hard things and maybe learn something about myself along the way.  Maybe I’ll wait and see what flows from my fingertips tomorrow…